Bailey

Hello, hello! I’m Bailey, a Silver Laced Wyandotte, named after the fabulous Bailey Sarian — because, honey, if I’m not serving you glamorous true-crime realness with these feathers, then what am I even doing? Just look at me — all dramatic black and white lacing, like I’m permanently dressed for a noir-themed masquerade ball.

As a Wyandotte, I’m pretty chill, friendly, and reliable, cranking out medium-sized light brown eggs with all the consistency of a well-researched YouTube upload schedule. But don’t be fooled by my easygoing vibe — I’m always on the case. Nothing happens in the yard without me knowing about it. Think of me as the detective in this little flock of ours.

I love to forage and gossip with the other girls, but my true passion? Uncovering the mysteries of the backyard. Why did the human scream when she stepped on that slug? Who knocked over the waterer at 3 a.m.? Why do the squirrels seem so shady? I’m here to investigate it all, spilling the tea (or, you know, scratch) along the way.

My human assistant says I have a way of staring at her like I’m about to spill some dark, juicy secret. And, honestly? She’s not wrong. When you look this good, you’ve got to keep things interesting. Now, do you want your egg with a side of sass or suspense?